Being the yoga girl that I was for so long, my pregnancy and postpartum experience of yoga was quite disappointing.  The most prenatal yoga I did was curl up in fetal position on the couch all day.  In the ideal yoga mind, in my ideal yoga world, I would have been doing morning meditations on the life of my fetus, imagining his journey from the cosmos to my body and the birth into this world, but alas, it was not so.

As I sit and write in my near 2 year post birth experience, it is 11:42pm, thankfully I did take a shower today, but the most yoga I was able to do was yet again, in bed in a yin (relaxation) posture of what I’ll just rename – TiredMamAsana from too many early mornings, days of chasing my toddler, and late nights of trying to catch up on life which seems to be passing by too quickly.

All I can do is fit in a few postures to remind my body that I am not neglecting it, I am simply doing other activities that are good for it, like going for long walks with my ever adventurous and now running mini man.  Soon enough he will be more independent than I want him to be, which will mean he will be jumping from higher places, swinging from higher spots, and I’ll most likely be bracing myself from an overly concerned mama heart attack.  Once again, the yoga postures will not have a normal routine, and most likely I’ll be the odd parent at the park trying to do warrior pose in between catching him from attempting to spider man climb up the net and catapulting head first down the slide.  The best I can do during these days is remember to breathe, deeply and calmly.

My attempts to blog about life as a mama are starting now 23 months into the experience as a parent, almost 3 years since this whole experience of creating life began.  What I am most happy for are the lessons that my path to health over my 30 years have taught me to prepare for being a mother. Especially through the years of dedicated yoga practice and meditation.  I have been able to calm my mind during difficult moments of near giving-up-ness and recenter to a place that I once knew in my life (silence and peace) prior to having a toddler.  Without this grounding I wonder where I would be at this point, and hope that even though I struggle as a parent, it could be a whole helluva lot worse in my moments of frantic reaction to the spiting, biting, back-lurching tantrum thrower that is my beloved son.

One thing that is most true is I have never felt the presence of true unconditional love quite like the love from my son.  Getting back to my yoga practice, whether it be 5 minutes in a posture or not at all, is okay by me now that I have this little guy spend my time with.  Now that I have regained my strength after a year postpartum of difficulties, my goal is to help other mamas during their pregnancy and path as a new parent.  Following blogs will be mostly geared to the struggles I had during these past couple years and how I searched for help to remedy the issues and bring me back to whole once again.  Pretty sure that my little guy is a healer because every day I spend with him makes the years before melt away as we pave a new life together.

Blessings for your journey, wherever you may be!